Abstract Albert’s Second Journey

At half past nine I put on my shoes
And I went to catch the bus
I saw the postman down the road
He was looking very serious

So I said to him "How do you do?
You’re looking very sad"
He said "I know, but I don’t know why
Things really aren’t that bad"

So I read to him one of my poems
That I wrote when I was unwell
The one about the business man
Who took a trip to hell

The postman he just looked at me
And he gave me a crooked smile
He said "I’m not a business man
And I haven’t been to hell for a while"

So I made some excuse and I took my leave
And I went down to the bus stop
And there I met sweet Mary Jane
With her guide-dog and riding-crop

She said "I see you’re back again"
(Though I hadn’t been away)
So I smiled and I thought "For god’s sake think
Of something nice to say"

But my mind went blank as I stared at the trees
Which were turning golden brown
And all I could see were her leather boots
That went all the way to the ground

And when the bus it did arrive
I climbed aboard it quick
I didn’t wait for Mary Jane
To do her party trick

The bus conductor had a beard
Which dragged upon the floor
The inspector told him to shave it off
So he grew it more and more

And when I tried to pay my fare
He laughed and shook his head
He said "You should have saved your money
And gone by train instead"